Being comfortable in a place of possibility

It’s four in the morning, and I can’t sleep. My brain’s buzzing with possibilities of an unexpected and extremely cool opportunity that truly excites me.
 
Talk about an uncomfortable place to be!
 
On the one hand, I am thrilled by what could be possible with this opportunity and partnership. The people involved seem to truly see who I am, HOW I am, and what I can bring to the table. They seem to truly welcome the “crazy-a$$ $hit” (their words!) that I bring to their culture, because they experience just how profoundly it makes them better. This also means that they want me to create this new role my way, and on my own terms.
 
Pretty darn cool, right? I mean, if there ever was a dream opportunity for me, this would be it.
 
And yet, here I am, up at zero-dark thirty, with my brain stuck in make-believe mode: replaying conversations from our last meeting about this opportunity, creating new ones based on conversations I’d like to have and/or challenges I anticipate, and otherwise living everywhere and ANYWHERE except for where I am right now.
 
Boy, are those imaginary conversations exhausting! Exhausting, and unproductive.
 
I mean, sure: when finding yourself in a place of possibility, it’s good to know what’s on your mind so you can make educated and informed decisions about it. At the same time, though, it’s a slippery slope to making yourself uncomfortable with those very opportunities that excite you by making up all those darn thoughts and stories about it!
 
And the most annoying part of all this?
 

It’s all in my head.

 
This discomfort keeping me up in the wee hours of the morning? It arises through my own mind. It’s the doubts, those shadow thoughts and whisper questions, that make me uncomfortable. It’s the “too good to be true” quality of this place of possibility that I’m currently experiencing. . . which – deservedly or not – causes me to raise a red flag in my mind. If it’s too good to be true, then it probably is. That’s how the old saying goes.
 
It reminds me of a scene from Pearl S. Buck’s book, The Good Earth, when our Chinese farmer couple go to the empress’s palace to show off their firstborn son to the empress dowager. On the way home, the parents are gushing with pride about how fine their son is and how impressed everyone was with him. . . until they remember that demons are always flying about and they might here that this couple has such a fine son. So they cover his head and start lamenting loudly about what a shame it is that their son is so stupid, pock-marked and ugly, to keep the demons from flying down and snatching away their pride and joy.
 
Perhaps this feeling of a possibility being too good to be true is my own attempt to ward off thieving demons who would snatch an opportunity I cherish out from under me. Oh, the stories I can build around this thought. . .
 

 
Except that when I get quiet, go within my heart and mind, and investigate how I’m really feeling about this place of possibility, I’m actually REALLY comfortable with it. I don’t actually feel any fear. Breathing, calming my mind, and looking into my heart. . . that’s when I see it: I’m not focusing on trusting them (the presenters of the opportunity) so much as focusing on trusting myself to make the right decisions for me.
 
It’s that personal trust that allows us to be comfortable in our places of possibility. Knowing that we can and will make the right decisions for us, with our best interests at heart, takes a lot of the pressure off.
 

Here’s my 4am short list for how to get more comfortable with possibility.

 
(Because 4am insights are sometimes the best!)
 
1. Hold it lightly. It’s easy and tempting to cling and attach to thoughts, opportunities, hopes, and expectations. (It is for me, at least!) Smothering the place of possibility with over-thinking makes it uncomfortable. When you feel yourself doing this, stop and make some mental space for yourself around the opportunity and your thinking around the opportunity. The best way I’ve found to do this is to. . .
 
2. Breathe. Easy, relaxing breathing. No strain, no work. Easy peasy, calm and soothing breaths. Notice each inhalation and exhalation. Each breath calms the waters of your mind until it’s a beautiful, still pool. When you catch yourself starting to think a thought or making up that dialogue around what you could have said or what might happen, simply notice that you are doing this, let that thought go like a happy little balloon in your mental sky, and return to noticing your breath. When the waters of your mind are clear, you can see and understand a situation more clearly. Which leads me to the next piece. . .
 
3. Trust yourself. When I start feeling nervous, anxious or otherwise uncomfortable with a possibility, it often is because I have mentally abdicated my own power in the situation. Don’t place your power with the offerers of the opportunity. It’s not about whether or not someone else will let you have the opportunity, but rather, it’s about whether or not you believe the opportunity is right for you. (This becomes easier for me to see when I stop, breathe, let my mind calm down, and reflect upon how I really feel.)
 
Lastly,
 
4. Don’t worry about it. There’s a great flow chart about what to do when you can or cannot do something about a situation. If you can do something right now about the possibility at hand, then do it. Simple. And if you can’t do something about it right now, then don’t worry about it. Such a simple and profound chart. . .
 

 
Such a simple and profound chart. . . so easy and yet so hard to do! (Especially at 4am!)
 
Will I be able to go back to sleep this morning? We’ll see. My intention is to stop making up conversations in my head, which aren’t real and don’t impact the outcome of this possibility. My intention is to trust my gut and my judgment around this opportunity. My intention is to focus on breathing instead of thinking.
 
Suddenly, this place of possibility – and the space between my ears – is a much more comfortable place to be!
 
I cannot wait to see what you draw forth,