Life is too short to spend it living with vampires.
And I’ve lived this one, for sure.
I’ve seen loved ones work at jobs and projects that brought them no joy or satisfaction.
I’ve seen how these unfulfilling and unrewarding practices suck the very life and spirit out of once-vibrant people. And no matter what I said or did, I couldn’t break the spell that bound the people I cared about to the very things that were ever-so-slowly killing them.
Because deep within us lies a fear.
It’s different for everyone, but it’s there.
And at the end of the day, the only person who can defeat this fear is us.
This fear is a vampire. Our vampire.
Perhaps you fear being able to leave the job that’s killing you because you don’t think you’ll be able to get a well-enough paying job elsewhere.
Perhaps you long to start your own company but fear leaving security behind to step into the unknown.
What if you fail?
Worse. . . what if you SUCCEED? What will people expect from you then??
This fear we host inside of ourselves is a vampire because it sucks our courage and our will, softly and slowly, like sucking a delicious milkshake through a straw, until there’s nothing but that horrible slurping sound and we know our once-full glass is now empty and there is nothing we will do to change our situation. We are too afraid to make the change we know we must make.
The only thing strong enough to combat this soul-sucking, life-sucking, JOY-sucking vampire. . . is you.
Nobody else can do this for you.
You are the one who gets to face down this fear. To stand in front of it as it rushes towards you like a tsunami wave and threatens to consume you.
Do you know what happens when you face this fear? When you stand your ground, stay present to how you feel, and see it for what it is?
It shrinks.
That giant tsunami of a wave shrinks smaller and smaller as it approaches, until it’s so small it barely wets the tops of your feet as it breaks. Suddenly, those overwhelming thoughts and fears no longer seem reasonable, and the discomfort of staying where you are, doing what you do, is greater than the fear of making the change you know (you KNOW) you long to make, deep inside yourself.
“That’s totally me,” you might be saying, “but I don’t know what to do!”
Here’s the thing: you actually do.
Every time I find myself lost in a decision or a step to take next, I imagine myself talking with my future best self. She’s giving me a hug and consoling me as I look up to her and say “I don’t know what to do next!” My best future self looks me in the eye with boundless compassion and, with a wee bit of a knowing smile, always says, “yes, you do.”
And I do. As soon as my best future self (or BFS, for short) owns up that I really do know, I can no longer pretend otherwise and somehow I’ve known all along.
“But I don’t know how to do it!” is usually the next thing my present day self says (wails or sobs, even) to my best future self. And my BFS simply hugs me, sits me down, and asks me to identify the first thing I need to do. And that gives me my first step for the journey.
The amazing thing is that when I have a destination in mind, and a first step, the rest seems to take care of itself.
All that is required of us is to take that first step. Even when we do not know where the next step will land, even as we cannot see the path ahead.
Just take a deep breath and take the first step.
It really is just like walking: after that first step, you aren’t concentrating on every single step you have to take to get you across the room. You simply know you want to reach the door, take the first step, and your body takes care of the rest. It knows the mechanics and sequence to get you where you want to go. And your vampire of fear will not be able to keep up with you once you have begun.
It only requires that you begin.
That you take your first step.
So where do you want to go? And what’s the first step you know you need to take?
Share your thoughts below and let’s inspire each other to take our first step.
As always, I cannot wait to see what you draw forth,
