How do we continue to show up and draw forth the best of ourselves. . . even when things get overwhelming?
A recent email exchange with a coaching client of mine helped me better understand this challenge.This person is an excellent facilitator who had been practicing and building skills to bring into an important client meeting. While debriefing her client meeting experience, she shared this observation:
“I have been practicing, but something holds me back from trying to draw much in real-time.”
Of course, I immediately began to talk about how the comfort of drawing in real-time really does only come with practice. The practice allows us to build the skill set to draw our icon without thinking about how to draw it, and it also allows us to move beyond any “performance anxiety” we might have about drawing in front of someone else. In real-time.
But then I remembered something that happened to me in high school.
High School Musical
Remember, I wasn’t an artist growing up: I was a musician. I played piano, violin, alto saxaphone, all sorts of instruments. I could sight-read sheet music for the violin, sax, etc., fairly decently. Sight-reading sheet music for the piano, on the other hand, was a pain in my ass because it got so complex so fast. I’d have to sit and review the music for a while, first making sure I knew where the notes were on the page and how they corresponded to the notes on the keys, then practicing and practicing until I could get up to speed playing the composition.
Well, this cool gal in my drama class was auditioning for the school musical, and she knew that I could play the piano. So a few minutes before the auditions, she tracked me down and asked if I could play the piano accompaniment to her audition song (“Out Here On My Own” from the movie, Fame). I said I could give it a go, and off we went to the auditorium. While waiting, I got to look at the sheet music a little bit, but it really was only for a few minutes and then it was her turn to audition.
I sat down at the piano and started to play this gal’s accompaniment. (Funny how I can remember her face and the song, but not her name!) She sang, and I was doing a pretty decent job playing the song for the first time in front of what felt like God and Country.
Until I crashed and burned.
I reached the part of the music that I hadn’t had a chance to review. And then it went from a simple composition to something more emotional, more engaged. I fell behind the place of the song as I broke down the notes of a new chord, and then I couldn’t read the sheet music fast enough to keep up with the pace of the song. I was overwhelmed. I tried to follow the music and hit a few notes, but by this point my confidence had been crushed and I, well. . . I gave up. I stopped playing and simply sat there with my hands in my lap and tears burning my eyes as this gal finished her song.
I was mortified. I was humiliated. I was deeply disappointed in myself, and I was devastated because here was one of the most popular girls in the drama program who had asked me to help her, and I had failed. (I know, but it was high school, remember?)
This gal only knew that I could play the piano. She didn’t know that it was a struggle for me to sight-read sheet music at the piano. And while I knew that it took me a lot of work to learn to play a song on the piano, I had lept out of my comfort zone into a very public place to make a very public splat.
Had I approached my piano practice differently, it wouldn’t have had to end up this way.
What are you practicing?
You see, while I was great at practicing my instruments, I never actually practiced playing songs in real-time. I never practiced sight-reading sheet music. I always practiced by taking my time with songs, figuring them out, easing into playing them as complete compositions in front of others once I had nailed all the parts. No wonder my first time live-reading sheet music ended the way it did!
Isn’t this how many of us practice drawing out ideas, too? We draw in the safety and comfort of our own sketchbooks, or in the privacy of our own space. This works great for getting our drawings down, but it doesn’t work if what we want to draw for and with others, drawing out ideas while drawing forth the best in ourselves.
And isn’t this also how many of us practice drawing forth the best in ourselves? We do a great job when we’re safe and comfortable and it’s easy for us to do so. This works great when people and the world are being nice to us, but what about when we’re overwhelmed and ready to toss in the towel on the whole “best self” thing?
Here are some ideas to get the wheels turning for your own practice. . . on both fronts!
For drawing out ideas in real-time:
1) Draw your icons. Draw up your visual vocabulary and practice those key icons over and over, until you know them so well that you can draw them without thinking. (That’s my figuring out a piece of music until I could play the whole thing.)
AND
2) Draw in front of a friendly audience. Draw those icons in real-time with others. Draw them in your own notes of conversations. Draw one icon when you’re meeting with other people. At this point, go for drawing in front of people you know really well who think you’re awesome. Don’t worry about how the drawing looks: the goal is to get used to doing it in real-time in front of others.
These are two sides of the same coin. To be comfortable drawing in front of others, you need to practice both.
For drawing forth the best in ourselves in real-time:
1. Be aware in the moment. As the G.I. Joe cartoons would always tell me, “now we know, and knowing is half the battle.” Simply by acknowledging that we shift into survival mode and becoming conscious about trying to draw forth more is a huge step.
2. Ground your intention. Schedule in a little draw forth reflection time each day. . . set an alarm on your phone, write a sticky note on the mirror or block out time in your calendar to spend a few minutes each day to remember who you choose to be this day. Think about how intentional you are being with what you say, do, and draw that day. This allows you to take a breath and make sure you are on the path you want to be on, and that you are traveling this path in the way you want to show up in your life.
3. Get some accountability. Whether it’s a Facebook group like the Draw Forth Playspace, a friend, colleague or mastermind group, find somewhere or someone who can help hold you accountable. We all need support and when we say our intentions out loud to those we respect, we will put forth more effort to ensure we stay on track.
4. Lighten up. I didn’t call my Facebook group the Draw Forth Playspace for nothing! When we allow ourselves to have fun, play and be silly, we give ourselves room to let the stuff in our lives fall to the side and the essence of who we are and what makes us happy gets to shine. Making a little play time is a sure fire way to help you draw for the best in yourself. . . even in busy times or in spaces beyond our comfort zone.
Out Here On Our Own
I believe that drawing forth the best in ourselves is one of the most important things we can do to be happy and find our right kind of success. And I also acknowledge that it’s not always easy. Life has a funny way of getting in the way, and we have a funny way of practicing the things that we find easy and safe. The good news is that, while we all have to travel our own individual paths to draw forth our best selves, we also get to go on these journeys together and encourage each other along the way.
The more we practice consciously showing up, and support each other’s ability to show up more fully in our worlds, the more natural it will become, and in times of stress and difficulty we will be able to call on our best self to help us get through. And our future best self will show up, hair in the wind, cape flying, because we took the effort now to make sure we were drawing forth every day, no matter what.
I cannot wait to see what you draw forth,
p.s. In case you’re wondering, yes: sight-reading sheet music at the piano is still hard for me. I may be awesome at lots of things, but sight-reading sheet music at the piano isn’t one of them. And that’s totally okay by me! ;^)
