Want to Stand in Your Strength? Lose the Trash Talk

You may have heard of this exercise: ask someone to hold their arm out to their side and try to keep it up while you push down on it. Odds are, the person will keep their arm up fairly easily.
 
Then you look at the person and say negative things about them: “you’re never going to be good enough… why do you even bother”… that sort of thing. You push down on their arm again and – whoop! – down it goes!
 
Next, look at the person and say positive things about them: “you are such a wonderful person, you do amazing things, I’m so lucky to know you,” et cetera. You push down on their arm one more time and – ha! – it’s stronger than when you started!
 
I had heard about this idea before, but never had it been so powerfully demonstrated to me than by Marci Shimoff, author of “Happy For No Reason” and “Chicken Soup for the Woman’s Soul.” It was fun to actually experience it with her, but then Marci took it to a whole other level.
 
She had her volunteer face away from us, then silently prompted us to simply THINK negative things about the person. Whoop – down the arm went! Then we thought positive things about them – and the volunteer’s arm was like an iron bar. (I think Marci actually held on and hung from it!)
 
THAT one got me thinking. How many negative thoughts do we think toward people? What effect do we have on that guy who just cut us off in traffic? What effect does that news story talking about the weak economy have on us? Let alone the thoughts I’ve had about myself over the years!
 
Negative “trash” talk – and even trash thoughts – steal strength. To help others stand in their strength, say and think positive things about them… and mean it.
 
The interesting thing here is that when you say and think positive things about others, others can’t seem to help saying and thinking positive things about you!
 
So, to stand in your own strength, keep your communication strength-based and vision-oriented. By seeing the best in others, you express the best in yourself.