September 9, 2021
The other day, some friends of mine and I got together to talk about our dissertations. We’ve got a bit of a dissertation support group going on, and I appreciate it so much. It has been a godsend for feeling less alone, less confused, less overwhelmed with the journey and process.
This time, when we met, we explored our research topics through arts-based inquiry. Specifically, we engaged in Natalie Rogers’ person-centered expressive arts process to explore the question: “what does my research topic need from me?” We meditated for five minutes, moved freely for five minutes, created art and wrote about it for twenty minutes, then shared our experiences with each other. I am in an ongoing PCEA triad with these women, so we were able to quickly slide into the expressive arts space as a group.
As soon as I began to meditate, I was called to draw. This was unusual, as I normally sink into the meditation space quite easily. But no, this time I needed to draw…my topic. I have been referring to my research topic with a bit of shorthand: Edgewalking Unicorns. Accordingly, I drew a unicorn walking a tightrope: the unicorn comes from our COO calling me a unicorn, and the tightrope comes from the image Judi Neal used in her book on Edgewalkers. So I drew my edgewalking, tightrope-walking unicorn and then wrote the question: “Edgewalking Unicorn, what do you need from me?”
I tried to go back into meditation after that, but kept hearing responses that wanted to be noted on the drawing. I’d listen and make my notes. Then as our meditation time was concluding I saw the mandate from my topic:
- Make me visible to others,
- Show folks to Edgewalking Unicorn Way,
- Inspire those who are ready, and
- Lead!
Well okay then, Edgewalking Unicorn! Let me do my best with that! Transitioning to the movement stage, I found myself dancing to the Unicorn Song by the Irish Rovers, dancing as if I were a unicorn on that tightrope. It was fun, a wee bit fabulously precarious, and joyful.
At the end of the song I transitioned to the art-making space. I sat with my large pad of Bristol paper and my recording markers, and found myself slipping into meditation. Finally. With an empty mind and the blank page before me, I repeated the question: Edgewalking Unicorn, what do you need from me? My meditation asked back, “Where are the women? Where are their voices in this work?” I immediately thought of Judi’s contributions with her Edgewalker work, but then I thought about all the other researchers influencing my views: Abraham Maslow, Scott Barry Kaufman, David Bohm, Daryl Conner, Peter Senge, Otto Scharmer, Meg Wheatley (ah, there’s another woman!), Ken Wilber, Roger Walsh, Ruth Richards (yay, another one!), and more. Largely a sausage party, all told. How does this inform what I bring to my research? One of the women in our group, when I shared this, suggested that I am the women’s voice and perspective to be brought to this work. I liked that a lot, and it tied in well with my other insights.
Because after I drew the response about women’s voices in this work, I continued to sit and ask my topic what else it needed from me. Two more images came forth. First came a book cover for a “Care and Feeding of Your Edgewalking Unicorn” business book. The second was a representation of an Edgewalking University, like a circus school that teaches people how to walk that tightrope and express their unicorn nature.
So, from this exercise I’ve discovered that my female perspective and experience will be key, and it is my task to make this role visible to a larger audience. I can do so via the things I write, and I can do so via those I teach. This was a surprising turn of events, as I had expected this expressive-arts exercise to take me down a different path, perhaps one of how I needed to approach my research or the types of questions it wanted me to explore. Instead, my topic seemed to have a lot of faith in me in terms of my approach, and needed to point me in the direction of what to do with the insights once I’ve discovered them. These drawings now live in my office as guides for my path ahead.
